Fascinators are so last year. Anyhow, we are fascinating enough. I can see us now at Zara's wedding: an assortment of elegant women wearing gorgeous head gear (yes Jean, my Tam o Shanter!) ,not so tight 3 ply thongs under our knitted outfits (just hope that it doesn't rain after that disgraceful exhibition by Jean and Doreen on Blackpool beach when wearing Julie's hand knitted bikinis); one parrot and a snake. Whatever has happened to our horse Neddy? Who has got him know? Last I heard, Doreen was using him to pull a cart when she went to market. Local council kicked up a fuss when she was going round the doors selling his poo and stinking whole areas with the manure smell.

Are we sailing round to Edinburgh? Do you think that the state rooms will be ready for us yet? Will we be able to berth the boat in the evenings so that we can visit the seaside hostelries on route for research purposes?

Thank heavens that Lynn is in for counselling, please be to goodness that it is successful.

Oh, I`m not sure if the staterooms will be ready - we`ll just have to hope for the best. It should be fun sailing to Edinburgh, we can moor or dock or whatever you do at Leith I should think.

We`ll have to decide on a flag - most ships seem to fly one, and we need to give Julie time to get one knitted. She`s going to be very busy, isn`t she? Have you all got your hats for Zara`s do? I see the reception`s to be at Holyrood - Eleanor, do you know some good hostelries on the Royal Mile?

I`m sure we`ll all have a great time. I just hope Sheila doesn`t fire those cannons at the wrong time. Or in the wrong direction either - I hope she knows her starboard from her port. Talking of port, is Amanda in charge of the wine?

Must go now - I need to clean up the lighthouse hat. Doreen didn`t fasten Neddy securely and he gave it a very close inspection.

What's verything?

Is that your dog Doreen? Somebody's barking!!!!

Sheila G x

Ah.....Jean's woken up, but I see she's already started on the booze again.

Jean, it's no use getting annoyed at us because you missed the celebrations at Stone henge. No-one forced you to dtart drinking so early, which made you sleep through the solstice. You did look a sight draped over that stone....don't talk about me going commando.....we just carried on and danced around you.

It was a shame about Sheila and the cannon, but I think the stones look better in a heap rather than a circle.

I'm thrilled you found my tea trolley, you know I can't do without my cups of tea.

I think that Julie's knitted sailor suits will be fancy enough even for HRH's! I am sure that the bunting will be ready in time as Julie seems to have magical fingers when it comes to needles and pins (or should I say pins and needles which is what most of us are so very familiar with)!. The clours are fine by me, the more psychedelic the better after my cake!

There is no way that C is dishing out my cake! Doreen would be most disappointed if she did not have that honour! I am most relieved that the tea trolley is repaired and well bedecked with bells as she does get very excited with her job. Running it under the wheels of that bus on Trafalger Square was not a great plan!

So Neddy is with Doreen! Glad that we didn't lose him but sorry that it isn't someone with more sense! Hope that your lighthouse hat cleans up Kathleen in time for the wedding. Wouldn't be the same without a guiding light to steer us homewards (to the Arc Royal) after the wedding celebrations.

What are you on about Jean? My memory, which usually serves me well, tells me that you were dancing around the stones at Stonehenge with the rest of us. You may say that you were clothed as you had a bandage on your leg but come on!!!! As for the thousands of pounds in fines! That was payed from the cash given to us to cover up, I should know as I was holding out the Tam o Shanter collecting it!

And, by the way, where did you get the pernod from? It isn't the bottle that Kathleen and I were missing from our stock on the last beano when Amanda and Barbara weren't around to be in charge of it? I drink the pernod except when you lot get your hands on it!!! Has anyone located our missing pair by the way? Last that I heard, Barbara was on a mission in India to establish where we should travel to for some peace and perhaps a cure with Amanda locating the best wines.

Cannon balls are such a unique way of showing that we have arrived in port or where ever. Very nautical and discrete. Must ensure that Sheila has some targetting practise though. As for Lyn and scissors. Please tell me that she is not still cutting hair Kathleen? I am depending on you to have her cured once and for all.

Ha, ha!

Neddy will be fine on the boat, don't forget he's from Blackpool so has good sea legs.

As long as Julie doesn't bring that damn talking dog.......

Hello to all tassellers.

Bernice and I are packed and ready for sail....Bernie is keen on bringing certain equipment "Amingo" the flammingo is number one on the list of cuddlies "Gwen" the Penguin, Kiwi HarHar the teddy and Kissy the naturist doll...

Kissy, has a few sets of clothes but rarely keeps them on for long.

Kissy's beebee buggy and blanket is also required alongside the manual of code known as "The Gruffalo" book, "Rabbit foo foo and other songs" CD and "Charlie and lola" tickers which are cunningly used to redecorate the battle tank near Bernice's car seat...

Bodicca's battle chariot is fired up and ready for action (having come back from local powerchair repair shop)

Twirly Whirly Wiggle Waggle dancing practiced along with Princess "Fairwee" dressing up clobber is prepared ready for use....